Day: October 17, 2025

• I was born and raised in New York City and moved to Los Angeles over a year ago.
• I’ve been surprised by a few things, like how people in LA seem to drink less than people in NYC.
• In my opinion, hustle culture doesn’t feel as glamorized in LA as it does in New York.

I’m a born and raised New Yorker. I grew up in Queens, and after a four-year stint in Washington, DC, for college, I moved to Manhattan.

I thought I was going to live there for the rest of my life. I didn’t drive, I loved walking everywhere, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to live without a grocery store, nail salon, dry cleaner, ice cream shop, and bar within sight of my front door.

Then, I packed up and moved to Los Angeles. I just felt like it was time for a change, and I wanted to experience the “perfect” California weather that so many rave about.

I knew there would be differences between life on the East Coast and West Coast, but here are a few things that have surprised me most so far.

People seem to treat cars like accessories in LA.

I knew Los Angeles was a driving city, but I didn’t realize how common it is for people here to treat their cars like big, expensive accessories. It feels like the norm to spend significant amounts of time and money washing and caring for vehicles here.

In my experience, when someone has a car in New York City (and can actually find a parking spot for it), they really only drive it on weekends to leave the city — and they’re almost certainly not souping the vehicle up LA-style.

Bar culture feels more destination-oriented.

On a Saturday night in New York City, my friends and I would usually casually barhop without a clear plan.

We might have chosen a neighborhood or had a starting point in mind, but we’d always end up walking a block or two to try to find our next hangout spot.

In contrast, I’ve found that Los Angeles bar culture seems more destination-oriented. People pick a spot — maybe two — and that’s the night.

There seems to be more forethought and logistics involved in night-out plans, perhaps because a lot of people drive and don’t want to leave their cars, or they need to plan their drinking around sobering up to drive home.

Mocktails seem to be more popular here, too.

In my experience, drinking alcohol in LA doesn’t seem as popular here as it did in New York.

In LA, I’ve found there’s a good chance you or someone in your friend group is driving home from the bar, so they’ll be drinking less alcohol or sticking to mocktails.

People in New York are more likely to use public transportation, so they don’t have to worry about getting behind the wheel after a night out.

It also feels easier to make plans that don’t involve alcohol in LA since the warm weather lends itself to a lot of other options for socializing, like hiking, biking, or walking on the beach.

Since the weather is often perfect, I’ve noticed people are unhappier when it’s not.

Since LA’s weather is great most of the time, with lots of sunshine and warmth, people here are quick to be unhappy when it’s anything less than perfect.

When there’s a strong breeze, it’s cloudy, it’s below 60 degrees, or it’s raining a little, I’ve noticed that Angelenos seem more likely to cancel plans or be quick to complain.

The attitude feels contagious, too. I once decided it was too chilly to write in my yard and went inside — it was 65 degrees Fahrenheit and sunny with a slight breeze.

I wasn’t always this way, though. During my time in New York, 65 degrees and sunny in March equaled hundreds of people (including myself) flocking to Central Park with picnic baskets, games, and cheese boards to bask in the sun all day.

New Yorkers know very well what all the highs and lows of changing seasons can look like, and a little rain or wind doesn’t stop them.

It feels like people in LA have better boundaries between work and life.

In my opinion, hustle culture doesn’t feel as glamorized in LA as it did back home.

Where being busy can translate to looking important in NYC — I’ve been that girl with her computer at the bar on a Friday night — people I’ve encountered in LA seem to set better boundaries to protect their work-life balance.

I can’t help but think the perfect weather has something to do with it.

Sure, this city is also full of people chasing their dreams, but it feels a lot easier to stop and take a break when you’ve got the California coast at your fingertips.

This story was originally published on April 23, 2025, and most recently updated on October 17, 2025.

• My YiaYia taught me how to put myself first and look fabulous while doing it.
• She’d dress up to boost her mood and have self-care days to get her hair done and see friends.
• Now, I throw on a great outfit when I’m sad and I’m not afraid to prioritize taking care of myself.

Whenever I think of my YiaYia Harriet Patras, I see her with neatly styled hair, wearing a perfectly polished outfit, and decked to the nines in fairly heirlooms and conversation-starting rings.

My grandmother had a life filled with challenges and loss, though you’d never know it by looking at her.

When I learned about some of her personal struggles later in my adulthood, I was shocked. She was the first generation to make a life for herself in America, and she became a single parent at a young age. She survived kidney cancer just to get Alzheimer’s a decade later.

Life wasn’t always easy for her, but she certainly made it look that way.

My YiaYia showed me that when you look good, you can feel better

My grandmother and I spent every Saturday together until I was 10 years old. During these cherished afternoons, I would accompany her to her hair appointments and marvel at how punctual she was with her self-care routines.

She taught me from a young age that putting effort into your appearance isn’t such a bad thing, and she made it seem like second nature. I never saw her with a rip in her nylons or a stain on her shirt.

My YiaYia was also a firm believer that getting ready and looking nice could improve any bad mood. Even in her final days, well into her 80s, she always seemed to have her nails polished and hair styled.

I learned from her that even on the hardest of days, when life is throwing you curveballs, you should pick yourself up by dressing your best. Or, in other words, when you look good, you may just start to feel that way, too.

To this day, whenever I have one of those days when life doesn’t make sense, I’ll put on my cheetah jacket and heels, even if it’s just to take myself out for a walk.

Every time, I instantly feel better, and it turns my day around. She really was onto something.

My grandmother also showed me that taking time for yourself is the key to living a fulfilling life

My YiaYia spent a lot of her life doing things for others, whether she was making cinnamon-bread turkey sandwiches (her specialty) for her two sons’ school lunches or planning her town’s next fundraiser.

However, she wasn’t afraid to take time for herself. My dad told me that when he was growing up, she’d take every Saturday off, as if she were clocking out from her “job” as a parent for a few hours.

She’d spend hours doing all of the things that made her feel empowered, like getting her hair and nails done or having cocktails with her girlfriends. Apparently, she never missed a Saturday.

Taking care of herself by carving out unsolicited “me” time wasn’t a shameful secret. Instead, making it a routine helped her maintain her cherished independence and an identity beyond motherhood.

It’s a valuable lesson I’ve taken from her life, especially as a woman — it’s easy to take on so many roles and do so much for others that you forget to take care of yourself.

Because of her influence, though, I’ve found my so-called “selfish” moments to be the time I cherish the most. I go on daily walks alone and regularly take myself out for a glass of wine or plan a solo trip somewhere new.

And I never apologize for putting myself first.

It’s not a night out of the ordinary: Yale philosophy professor Alma (Julia Roberts) is hosting a lavish party at her tastefully decorated apartment with her husband, Frederik (Michael Stuhlbarg). There are plenty of faculty and Ph.D. students, including Professor Hank (Andrew Garfield), a close friend of Alma’s, and Alma’s student Maggie (Ayo Edebiri). A night of playful intellectual debate comes to an end, and the guests leave.

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The next day, a distressed Maggie waits outside Alma’s apartment with crushing news: Hank walked Maggie home after the party, came into her apartment, and crossed a line. That’s the inciting incident of After the Hunt, directed by Luca Guadagnino (Queer, Challengers) and written by Nora Garrett. The movie’s handling of its storyline of campus power dynamics has sparked plenty of controversy since its August premiere at the Venice Film Festival, and its wide release in cinemas this weekend is sure to reignite the conversation.

After the Hunt seems designed to provoke. It’s clear from the onset, in Guadagnino’s decision to parrot the distinctive font of Woody Allen’s opening titles. This turns out to be mostly just a feint at divisiveness. After the Hunt isn’t especially incendiary in its substance. Despite the controversy that drives its plot, it is more of a well-paced character study than a bona fide #MeToo drama or a scathing indictment of cancel culture or campus life. Still, it’s worth delving into how Garrett and Guadagnino do choose to end their story to see how this work fits in among the many thematically similar projects that have emerged over the past eight years.

What really happened between Hank and Maggie?

This question remains unanswered when the final credits roll. No flashback nor confession reveals precisely what happened between Maggie and Hank. But a scene with Hank and Alma gives us an indication of who is telling the truth. Here, Alma returns to her other apartment, which she uses as a quiet place to get work done and retreat from the pressures of her job. After an extremely tense interaction with Maggie, which found Alma hurling vicious insults until Maggie slapped Alma across the face, Alma enters the apartment to find that she’s not the only one there. She is surprised to discover Hank, whom she hasn’t seen in weeks, passed out in her bed. 

The two have a tense, uneasy conversation, and Hank has completely unraveled, shouting to Alma about how his life has been destroyed by Maggie. Alma tells him his life is ruined because he broke the rules. “The only person I ever broke the rules to f-ck was you,” he snaps angrily in response, confirming an affair the movie has been hinting at. Hank corners Alma and starts to kiss her, but after a brief moment she tells him to stop. He doesn’t listen, and she has to shove him off of her. Ashamed, Hank drags himself out of her apartment, never to be seen again. This scene depicting Hank disregarding the fundamentals of consent and continuing to kiss Alma after she’s refused him establishes a pattern that fits Maggie’s claim. It may not be definitive evidence, but it’s all we’re going to get. 

What happened in Alma’s past?

Though an incident between Maggie and Hank is what incites the plot of After the Hunt, this is really a film about Alma and her choices. She repeatedly encourages Maggie to keep quiet about what happened to her, discouraging her from speaking out at every opportunity. This creates a massive rift between the two, ultimately causing Maggie’s fellow students to rally against the professor. Alma becomes increasingly irate in carrying out her teaching duties, aggressively arguing with her students. Her romance with her husband is dwindling; her potential tenure, which once seemed like a guarantee, is in grave danger. Everything is going wrong for Alma, and watching Roberts’ remarkable, nuanced performance as she tries to keep her life together is the greatest pleasure to be found in After the Hunt.

After collapsing on campus and waking up in the hospital with Frederik by her side, Alma finally reveals the truth about her past. When she was 15, back in her native Sweden, she had an affair with an adult family friend. When it ended, she told people that he had abused her, and he eventually took his life. “I made up a story that I knew would hurt him the most,” she tells Frederik. Though she was underage, she says now that they were in love, and she has regretted her actions to expose him ever since. Despite Alma’s belief that she’s responsible for the tragic outcome, there’s no mistaking that Alma was a child being taken advantage of by an adult. We can see that she was the victim, as can Frederik, who reinforces this perspective.

In this moment, it becomes clear that After the Hunt is really an investigation into what it’s like to live with pain and trauma, how it festers and lingers days, years, or even decades after a violation occurs. 

One last conversation

Five years later, Maggie and Alma meet again at the same Indian restaurant Hank adored. The two exchange platitudes on how things have been for them since they last saw each other so many years ago. “I gave up on the idea of retribution a long time ago,” Maggie says, confirming that Hank never received legal recourse beyond losing his job at Yale, and she hasn’t seen him since.

There’s something different, almost freeing, about the way Maggie and Alma speak to each other. Gone is the sense that Maggie is desperate to please Alma; so too is Alma’s interest in supporting Maggie. Outside the walls of the university, and with so much time passed, these women don’t have to pretend like they care for one another. “I spent so long wishing for you to fail,” Maggie reveals to Alma, who barely reacts. “I didn’t know whether I wanted to be you or be with you,” Maggie also confesses to an unfazed Alma. It’s uncomfortable, and Maggie seems genuinely shocked that Alma is still with Frederik. Alma, meanwhile, is relieved that Maggie is no longer with her partner, Alex, instead engaged to a woman named Mia. Long before their food arrives, Maggie asks for the check, pays, and walks out. The camera lingers over the $20 bill Maggie has left, and the film cuts to black.

Some people get punished for their mistakes, and it certainly appeared that as Alma’s life began to unravel, her refusal to step up and support Maggie would lead to her downfall. But Maggie is surprised, as the audience is, to learn that Alma is thriving: she’s now the dean of Yale. That’s a remarkable trajectory, given that the last time we saw her on campus, she had been suspended for using the department therapist’s prescription pad to fill a prescription without her knowledge, and told she would no longer be considered for tenure.

While After the Hunt is full of scathing dialogue, snarky asides, and buzzwords aplenty, the final conversation between Alma and Maggie may be its most damning indictment of systems of power. During their chat, we learn Hank has a cushy job working as a spin doctor for a Democrat, likely making far more than he did at Yale. Nobody really loses. People are pitted against one another in the quest for the truth and justice. But in the end, the machine that keeps the powerful in power continues chugging along, and those who have been wronged have little recourse. Hank claimed his life was ruined, but it’s obvious he’s doing just fine. Alma fell to rock bottom and was picked back up and placed far higher than she’d been before. Maggie seems to be doing much better, but she’ll never get what she feels is right. She gave up on that years ago.