Day: November 16, 2025

• A traditional thanksgiving celebration is too much work, especially for a busy family.
• Now I host an “anything goes” potluck to help keep the day low-stress.
• Last year, tacos were part of our spread. This year, my sister-in-law is bringing chicken wings.

As a family of six, we have found it easier to host Thanksgiving each year rather than travel.

In our first year of hosting, we made an effort to honor the traditions from both my husband’s side of the family and mine. However, we quickly realized this meant spending days before the Thanksgiving meal in the kitchen, prepping dish after dish, on top of days of cleaning and re-cleaning. The dishes always piled up, and by the time the Thanksgiving meal arrived, we were exhausted, feeling drained and grumpy.

The expectations for a picture-perfect holiday became too much, especially for our family with two working parents. So I quit doing it. Now we host an “anything goes” Thanksgiving.

I don’t stress about what everyone is bringing

Instead of our family doing all the cooking — plus the cleaning before and after the entertaining — every family that attends brings a few dishes of their choosing to share. Yes, our Thanksgiving is a potluck, and no, the foods don’t always coordinate. And that’s OK with me.

This year, my sister is purchasing chicken wings and bringing a fruit platter. Our family is making our traditional gluten-free sweet potato pies, as well as trying out a new recipe for s’mores cake. We will provide drinks, and my in-laws and parents will bring their own favorite dishes, likely more traditional Thanksgiving foods, but I’m not keeping track of what anyone is bringing.

Last year, we shook things up with a DIY taco bar. Really, anything goes. It’s up to our relatives what they bring, and I’m confident we’ll have plenty of food for all of us to enjoy. It doesn’t matter if they coordinate.

We don’t dress up

In the movies, holiday family dinners often involve everyone arriving in cozy sweaters and khaki pants, or a button-up shirt with a tie, or cocktail dresses and pearls. No, thanks.

Sure, I love the occasional excuse to dress up — but not when I’m hosting and not when I have to help four kids get ready. We’ve done it in the past, but this year my family can wear what they want. My kids are old enough to decide for themselves. If that turns out to be yoga pants and a sweater, so be it. I’ll be wearing my favorite Christmas graphic tee, jeans, and house slippers this year.

Guests are encouraged to show up in whatever makes them most comfortable. Who wants to wear tight clothes after gorging on a Thanksgiving feast anyway?

The table isn’t fancy

Since we’re hosting a meal for 15, including seven kids, one of whom is a toddler, we don’t set a fancy table. In fact, our tables and chairs are of the fold-out variety.

We use washable, stain-resistant tablecloths and disposable plates and platters to minimize clean up. Sure, we could pull out our wedding china, but we don’t — because we don’t want to.

We create a cozy, laid-back mood

We turn on the fireplace and a favorite record, usually something jazz, or we let the kids put on one of their playlists. We want guests to feel comfortable while creating a low-key ambiance.

We also want to make sure the younger kids have something to do, so we set up a separate table with holiday-themed coloring sheets. We pull out all of our favorite board games for the older kids and adults. I love seeing everyone lounging around on the floor, laughing and enjoying themselves.

We don’t change our meal time

In our home, we usually eat lunch around 12:30 p.m., which is exactly when we open up our Thanksgiving buffet-style meal. No kid (or adult) does well with delaying their lunch by hours because, once again, the turkey isn’t ready. In fact, an odd meal time is the perfect opportunity for everyone to be hangry, devouring snacks, and hovering near the kitchen bar where food is being laid out. No, thanks.